A Beautiful Start

So, It's been FOREVER again since I have written to catch everyone up to date. But here we are and here goes... I moved in with family several months back to get myself "Emotionally" stable, my life has made MANY twists and turns. Things I NEVER saw coming... God had AMAZING things in store for me. I NEVER realized that I had been living a double-life so to speak. Over the past few months, I have been forced to face situations and feelings in my life that I have been harboring with me for YEARS! I never realized just how much garbage and junk I have been carrying around with me and bringing in and out of relationships. Most of all, I have realized just how much affected my relationships with people have been influenced by all of my mistakes, sins, and garbage. I Loved God, but still wanted to "control" my life, so to speak. I never fully gave God the steering wheel so I could COMPLETELY live under his will and NOT MINE! I have faced my mistakes as a friend, as a mother, and as a wife. I am a guilty party and have been brought to my Knees begging God for Forgiveness. Now, with that said....I know that I can not bring any guilt into my future, but I am extremely thankful that God allowed me to see and feel all of it so that I would NO LONGER continue these patterns and mistakes in my life. It has also been layed upon my heart just how much other people influence our lives and how much we as humans affect the lives of others on a daily basis. Whether it is in there reaction to you in a particular situation or how our lives can and are an example for others.
I have been on a JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME of healing, learning, forgiving, letting go and I am now a "New Creation"! I am sooooooo thankful that God NEVER turned his back on me and that he was actually with me the whole time. I just couldnt hear his voice because I was so bogged down in my garbage!!!! Now I can HEAR HIM LOUD AND CLEAR! Never again will I choose my desires or my opinions over Gods will in my life. I feel FREE and WANT TO SHOUT IT TO THE ROOF-TOPS! God has allowed many people to be REMOVED from my life in order to accomplish just what he wanted to accomplish in ME! At first, I was hurt, alone, devastated, and didnt understand. But now I SEE he HAD TO in order to get me where I am right now. PRAISE GOD! I have seen and FELT MIRACLES in my life. I just want to tell everyone about it because God is REAL people!!!!! He loves you and CAN WORK MIRACLES in your life if you ALLOW him to! With all that said, God is not finished with me and never will be. There is something that I have to do TONIGHT in facing my past. I have to VISUALIZE it and I cant go into any further details with that. TOMORROW is my anniversary. Everyone knows my husband and I are seperated, but we are still going to see each other tomorrow because there are things that need to be said and faced. I know with every fiber of my being that God will SHOW ME CLEARLY which fork in the road I need to take....I also know that while God is working in me he is also be working in the lives of others involved with me. My prayer is that I make the RIGHT decisions that I have to face in the near future. I also hope that God blesses whomever decides to read this and that something said in this will help them in whatever situations/problems they are currently facing. If God desires to use my situation as help and and blessing to others then I am extremely thankful. Promise to update everyone with the final results in my life Restoration!